Lola Gaspar

We had dinner at Lola Gaspar, located at the heart of Santa Ana's Artist Villge, in the historic Santora Building. It was a beautiful evening, catching up with friends over vino and delicious comida!

Yankees Game

Dan and I went to the Yankee vs Angel game last night (another perk of being childfree). Our friend, Var, had extra suite tickets and invited us along. I was a good luck charm and the Yankees ended up winning 6 to 5! Dan was in a VERY good mood that night!

Memorial Day

BBQ + park + swimming + Just Dance = a wonderful Memorial Day with the Ankeny and Cambare family

Lucille's

The silver lining to being childless: Tuesday date nights at Lucille's! Dan and I enjoyed delicious baby back ribs and Snickers ice cream cake! Then, we brought home our bones for Mocha.

Date Night

The happy couple enjoying dinner at BJs Restaurant before our Fertility Seminar in Laguna Hills

The Next Step

Dear Dan,

Today we're taking the next step to expand our family.

 I'm heart broken that it won't happen the way I always thought it would:

a magical night tangled in the sheets,

followed by a wonderful surprise one morning when we see two pink lines on a stick.

I'm afraid of what this next step entails:

pills, shots, procedures and all the unknowns.

So, please be patient with me when I become hormonal,

hold me and run your fingers through my hair when I cry,

be gentle when you give me the shots, 

stand by my side at our appointments

and hold my hand during the procedures.

Because I can't do this without you. 

This may not be the way we thought our fairytale would unfold,

but I trust that the Lord has a beautiful plan for our happily ever after. 

And I'm so blessed to be on this journey with you.

I love you,

and I'll endure all of it for you and with you

so that we can experience the joys of parenthood,

because we were meant to be parents!

Love,

Lazy Dog Cafe

Dan and I took our baby, Mocha, out to the Lazy Dog Cafe for a random Tuesday date night!

Feeling blessed,



Celebrating Our Mothers

This year, we were very blessed to have both of our moms with us for Mother's Day! Dan made shrimp fetuchini for dinner and strawberry lemonade cupcakes for dessert!



Happy "Mothering" Day

Baby Kalista:

Baby Liv:

Baby Carter:



Baby Liam:

Baby Braeden:

Baby Brody:

Baby Addy:

Baby Grace:

Dear Lord,
I desperately want a baby.
I want to experience motherhood.
I want to feel life growing within me and feel my baby kick.
I want to experience labor and hear my baby's first cries.
I want to nurse my baby in the wee hours of the night and rock him or her back to sleep.
I want to watch my baby giggle, say their first word, see their first steps.
I want my baby to reach out to me to be picked up and call me "Mama!"
I want to read night time stories, say prayers together and snuggle.
I want to run my fingers through their hair as they sleep peacefully.
I want my child to crawl into bed with me when they have nightmares.
I want to watch them experience the world around them.
I want to bake together,
have family movie nights while we eat popcorn,
build forts around the living room, 
and watch them run around with Mocha.
I want to help them with their homework,
guide them to solve their own problems,
and listen.
I want to give my parents their first grandchild.
I want my children to have a close relationship with their grandparents.
I want to take pictures of three generations.
I want my home to be filled with pictures of my children.
I want to have little hand prints and crayon on the walls.
I want toys to be scattered around the floor.
I want my home to be noisy with the laughter of children.
I want the driveway to become a masterpiece of chalk art.
I want to be a mother.

BUT

I am so thankful for the children You have placed in my life!
I am thankful that I am an aunt to the most beautiful nieces and nephews.
I am thankful that I am a teacher to a fun group of fifth graders.
I am thankful that I have the opportunity to
nurture
listen
guide
protect
care
and love
the children You have placed in my life.
I am thankful that even though I'm not a mother (noun)
I can still mother (verb).
mother (noun)- a female parent
mother (verb)- to care for or protect like a mother, to act maternally towards
Your daughter,

If you are one of those women who have experienced the blessing of children, 

Happy Mother’s Day to you!

If you are one of those women, who are not yet mothers and so long to be, I want you to know that you are not alone. I love you and I am praying for you! Happy Mothering Day to you, 

because you mother (verb) the children the Lord has placed in your life!